New World

"I've reached the point where I hardly care whether I live or die. The world will keep on turning without me, and I can't do anything to change events anyway. I'll just let matters take their course and concentrate on studying and hope that everything will be all right in the end."
Anne Frank,  February 3, 1944

 

I'm not Anne, not even close. I'm not lying on the floor of a cramped attic, crying tears of desperation. I'm sitting in an open, brightly decorated McDonald's building. I have a paper cup half full of Sprite, and I’m listening to white noise on my phone, café noise from mynoise.net. I'm being productive, because it's easy to be productive here. And I'm about to go back- DRIVE back, in fact-  to a warm apartment with a space heater. Where I can sit in a chair and read a book- watch a movie- cuddle under blankets, away from the cold winter wind- fall asleep.

I'm very, very fortunate.

Sometimes, it doesn't seem to matter much, though. The world is full of evil, and I know it, although it's not right in front of me, and "I can't do anything to change events anyway." Sometimes I don't even want to be here anymore.

In this world where people drag other people, who never did anything to harm them, out onto a beach and hack at their necks with knives. Europeans do this. Maybe an American. Children are crucified and moms and dads are burned alive. I could wish that I didn't have an imagination.

Little girls are being raped. Eight, nine, they're supposed to be coloring, playing in sand boxes. They're supposed to be older and stronger when they learn, for the first time, that it's a world full of pain. 

Then the President of the United States, who is supposed to be the leader of the free world, gets up a Summit on Countering Violent Extremism and yammers on and on about making sure we don't discriminate against American Muslims. Oh, and the first mosque, this was an interesting fact, was in North Dakota.

They say he's going to make a deal with Iran, maybe give them nuclear capabilities. That Benjamin Netanyahu, the strong and courageous leader of Israel, is coming to speak in front of Congress, to do his best to protect his country. That Obama wants to delay or deter him because he's afraid of exposure, and some of our Congressmen and Congresswomen are making other plans.

 Yeah, I'm calling Obama "Obama" from now on. A "President" "faithfully execute[s] the office of President of the United States… preserve[s], protect[s], and defend[s] the Constitution" (Presidential Oath of Office). He's not a President, just a part time golfer, part time President-badge-wearer-and-yammerer.

I love that word, yammer. I heard it on Conservative Talk, and it's my new favorite word. Please note that although this post will be very Conservative Talk-y, I do sometimes have thoughts of my own that have nothing to do with Conservative Talk. Please also note that if you think I don't, I don't care anyway because their hosts are brilliant, and even more importantly, TRUTHFUL men, and if I listen to them, and think their thoughts after them, it is because those thoughts are TRUE.

I wish I could trade any one of them for Obama. I'd vote for Dennis Prager- he is the best; after him, Mike Gallagher, Hugh Hewitt or Michael Medved. But Mark Levin has definitely grown on me, so he could be Vice President at least. I used to think he was too much of a loudmouth, but I like him now because he's not worried about being politically correct- not in the slightest. And this should be counted unto him for righteousness.  And he's angry, and I'm angry too, because people are dying- while Obama yammers on about issues that are only issues inside his own head.

"It's all in your head, Mr. Tweedy. Say it!"

This man- Obama- could actually do something to prevent genocide, and he will not. How is an armed security guard, who stands by and watches a woman being stabbed, any more virtuous than her murderer?

 It's a scary, helpless feeling not to have a leader who will stand up to our greatest enemy. "We have the means to wipe these cockroaches off the planet." (Mike Gallagher) But what are "means" without the will to use them?

The Islamo-nazis will grow in size and power. They're "the coolest gang on the planet." They'll come to America- I feel sure of it. I think that most of the suffering we will experience in our lives- you, whoever is reading this, and me- will be caused by these true Muslims. These people who Actually Follow the Koran. Obama won't call them radical Muslims, but honestly? They're TRUE Muslims. I know that peaceful Muslims exist... many, many of them. But the peaceful Muslims are the backsliders.

I learned this today. The Koran is interpreted chronologically. The most violent passages are the most recent ones. In that way, it's directly opposite of the Bible (in which the most violent passages are in the Old Testament, the most loving in the New). Muslims don't have  an age of law and an age of grace. The recent passages take precedence.

I'm not always depressed about all of this. Writing is satisfying. When I write about things that get to me, they actually- kind of- stop getting to me.

But I'm going to worry about it again, I know, maybe without my laptop with me to dump all of it out onto, and then what?

It's hard to believe that we just need to trust in God, and everything will be okay- when trusting in God in Syria, or Libya, or Iraq makes it about five times more likely that you won't have a head for long. I don't want to be morbid, or ruin your thoughts about how much butter to put on your popcorn, but it's probably going to be that way, here, in America, sometime in our lifetimes. Yeah, I wish we had a real leader who would do something to prevent it. But we don't. And we basically have to "just let events take their course."

And sometimes, I don't want to live on this violent, uncertain earth any more. I heard about a mission to Mars- Mars One. They're actually planning to send people on a one-way trip to the Red Planet, where they may only survive for about 68 days. I read an article by Hannah Earnshaw, a dreamy-looking 23 year old girl who is one of the final 100 candidates for the mission. Why would she willingly whittle her own future down to 68 days?

She's idealistic, adventurous, has ideas of creating a new world.

I almost feel like I would go on such a mission, now. Yes, please, just get me out of here.

Well, I'm already going to a new world, and I don't need a spaceship to get there. Just death, however it will be- quick, long, painful, or peaceful as cuddling under a blanket and falling asleep.

And it's a much, much better alternative to this one, and certainly better than Mars could ever be.

I'm going to write a post about Heaven next, because I need to read and write about it. And I'm not going to listen to talk radio tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. I thought about saying I'm not going to listen to it again, but I can't- I just can't. I think I’m a little addicted. But "concentrate on studying and hope that everything will be all right in the end" -I can do that. If Anne Frank, brave little girl, can do that, I can do that. And I have a hope that will not pass away.