Buy Truth and Sell It Not

Seems like you could excavate every newspaper office and TV station in the world, dirt piling up to the ceiling, and come up with a tiny handful of truth- multi-faceted, solid and clear. Seems like most people champion every cause that appeals to them, whether those causes are logical and ethical, or not.

Of course, the brain is connected to the emotions. That would be an interesting topic. This post could become extremely scientific and Wait but Whyish. But I can't write like that man, yet, so I'm not going to try.

I just want to say that I believe truth is valuable, and especially in the past year or so, I've learned that it's really, really rare. We're surrounded by so many mud-lies. People are spitting out mud and playing in it and proudly displaying their mud creations. They're missing the truth-diamonds, but mud is just so much easier. And if you're covered in agreeable mud, the other people who are playing in it can't get mad at you.

Yeah, I've had emotional opinions of my own. But when I find out that they're emotional nonsense, I try to get rid of them. I've figured out that it's really important to be informed, up to and including listening to logical, ethical people.

I used to sort of think the opposite. I thought it was a cop-out to say you want to wait before making a judgment. Someone said, "I don't have all the information I need to give an opinion." And I was thinking, "Yeah, sure, you just want to avoid upsetting anyone, you politically correct mudhead."

I didn't get that because honestly, part of me really likes to upset people, whether they're speaking Christianese or Political Correctish. With people I Actually Like, I feel differently, Keep Favor at All Costs, and Avoid Topics of Violent Disagreement. But with people I barely know and don't care to know, it's a lot of fun to affirm the opposite of whatever-it-is that they're saying. I really don't understand people who always want their conversations to be calm and serene, and leap to shore at the first sign of a ripple.

Still, waiting to form an opinion is extremely legitimate, and I'm sure it's Biblical. I think Proverbs has a lot to say about it. An opinion is fragile- you can always change it later. But once you say it out loud, there's a little thing called pride that keeps getting in the way. You couldn't possibly change your opinion when you affirmed that it was the One Truth- that it was the diamond and the person-you-were-speaking-to was simply a mud-filled mud-minded mudslinger. Now, could you?

So you clutch that opinion, hold it tight to your chest while you feel the mud dripping out between your fingers, and you watch the unanticipated sparkle of the Opinion of the person-you-were-speaking-to.

This wasn't meant to be a New Year's Resolution. But it sort of subtly became one. I resolve that this year I shall be- a slow and well-informed Opinionator. Because I want to dabble in diamonds rather than mud lies. Be edifying rather than upsetting. Maybe ask people questions when, after Extreme Informedness, I know that they are playing in mud. Get them to think about it some more. Because I have reluctantly concluded that arguing does Little, If Any, Good.

I Still Have Things To Say

But they will have to wait. My family is coming tomorrow! (Aaaah!!!)

I AM here. (I will be here, every Tuesday, for the rest of my life.)

Next time I will write 7 paragraphs instead of 7 sentences. I'll write 7 chapters. I'll write 7 books, and I'll make you read them all.

FINOs

I added a word to the dictionary today. FINO. It will soon become mainstream. It's a noun, and it means a friend in name only. A person who says that he or she is your friend, but never talks to you. You're always the first person to text or call. You try to do things with a FINO, but he or she never has time.

I'm not going to bother with FINOs anymore. I believe that one of the most important things in life is to find really good people. The kind that are happy to see you and that you are happy to see. That won't leave, and that you won't leave, when you figure out that you're each imperfect. 

I'll write a better post next week. If I weren't out of sorts, and in a perfectly equitable mood, I would have many more things to say. But I will say them eventually. Oh, yes. I will say them.

12/13/14

I know it's not Tuesday but I have to say.. It's 12/13/14 and we will probably never have another date sequence like that, ever again..

In Which I Reveal the Top Three

The decision has been finalized. You're the first to know. You can tell all your friends now, you can stop scouring the news. Here they are: Bonnie's Top Three Android Apps of 2014.

#1. Fighter Verses.
I discovered something while I was working at the Westin. I can listen to the Bible while cleaning and get through multiple books in one day. It leaves me with a nice sort of I-listened-to-the-Bible-today feeling. And... not much else.

When I discovered Fighter Verses, everything changed. I love this app for many reasons. It uses the ESV- yes, God speaking to me in my own, modern language. I don't talk the way people did in 1611, and I believe that God would want me to understand every word He says to me.

I also like the fact that the narrator has a nice, normal male voice. I've listened to some truly awful Bible narrators, notably the one associated with the Remember Me (Bible memorization) app, a prissy female who serves the meat of the Word with a chop, chop, chop.

The best part about Fighter Verses, though, is that when you tap Listen to Verse, it plays that verse (or chapter) ON REPEAT. And this, THIS is the secret.

Listen to most of the New Testament in one day= remember nothing. Listen to one or two chapters on repeat for hours= think about the same truths over and over, come close to memorizing them, start applying them to my life.

Although I often succumb to Spotify or Conservative Talk's siren call- on the days I open my Fighter Verses app, I hear from God and it's so, so, so worthwhile.

The app has several other strategies to help you memorize. I only use the repeating audio because it's so useful with the mindless kind of work I do. You can use the other methods to memorize other versions, but the audio is ESV.

You need a WiFi or mobile data connection, but once the audio starts looping, you don't anymore. I think it initially costs two or three dollars. It's worth it.

This app is number one simply because, if I had to delete all but one, this is the one I would keep.

#2. Quizlet
This app is basically the same thing as Fighter Verses, but secularly. (Well, it's used for academic purposes. I suppose you could use it for memorizing Bible verses, but the audio is chop, chop, choppy on this one too.) I made flashcards for French vocab, put them in play mode and listened to them while I worked. You can use it for any academic subject, and listen to your flashcards or study them while you run, wash dishes, drive, or do that other thing you do. The app syncs with your online account, and you can download other people's cards- even look up the textbook for the class you're taking and find them that way. It's all quite easy and fun. Quizlet is helping me learn French (which, unlike Spanish, is extremely new to me, so it's no small task) and for that, I give it the number two award.

#3. Self Control.
The internet has sort of taken over my free time- and sometimes my not-so-free-time- for years and years. I'm interested in everything, and the answers to all my questions are just a google away. Plus creative projects, hilarious videos, fascinating opinions...

It's a huge problem because as much as I love to learn about everything, I'm not supposed to spend my life in front of a computer screen reading randomness.

The internet is also a dangerous place- it's full of evil. You know it's true- and it's hard to avoid it once you enter. It's strewn with the thoughts of people who are vitriolic against God. While I love talking about God with people who are kind and/or open minded, I can't deal with people who mock Him or belittle the Bible anymore.  I've always had a sort of morbid fascination with the opinions of God-hating atheists, and it's kind of dragged my spirit down, made me feel alone, even made me feel that Christianity is ridiculous, although I know that's not true. And I don't think God ever intended for me to read the lies of the lied-to. He intended for me to be in Christian community, to get together with someone and tell that person "You're not alone, I'm a Christian too, and this is what God is doing in my life, what's He doing in yours?"

My last post was against over-the-top book and movie censorship. Now I want to say one more thing about that. Christian people seem to think that books and movies and most especially TV are the really worldly dangers. But I don't hear many Christian people speaking against the internet-as a "standard" anyway. I know it seems indispensable. But IT is the real danger. T.V. can be a huge time waster, and I don't think it's really helpful for anyone, but at least if you have a family with you they can see what you're watching. Books, movies, a few curse words, like I said, sorry but I don't really see the problem there. Smartphone with internet- MEGA time waster, CONSTANT option of seeing and reading all kinds of terrible, harmful things. You watch a DVD, two hours later, it's over. You watch a six minute YouTube video, it suggests another one only for the next, oh, infinity.

Maybe your "standard" could be no internet when you're not with someone else. Now, THAT would be a useful "standard".

It's not really my "standard", as I dislike the word and concept of standards. Maybe I could say, it's my rule for myself. I don't believe in standardization as every Christian is different. You're different than I am. You may have the internet and only get on it once a day to check your email. Maybe Googling random things bores you to tears. Maybe you'd as soon watch dandelions grow as watch a funny video on YouTube.

I-said-all-that-to-say-this. I evicted my charter modem and installed a bunch of phone apps like a dictionary, thesaurus, cookbook, Yellow Pages, and many more. I can still do useful things on my phone without having access to Google or any internet browser. I have a mobile data connection for apps that use internet (I'm writing on a Blogger app right now), but I can't browse or get on YouTube because of the Self Control app. It blocks everything except the exceptions you specify, for the amount of time you tell it to (for me, from 12 AM to 11:59 PM) and you're unable to change it during the blocked time.

If I try to get on chrome, for example, I get a green screen with the words "It's Study Time, Now!"

I wish there were not a comma between "Time" and "Now", but you can't have everything.

It's free.

This is the app I shouldn't need. It's fake, forced self control. One-tap virtue. Still, I know now that I will not be wasting time on my computer or on my phone. I may watch a movie or read a book. But I'm not getting on the internet. I can't. And that's a good feeling.

It doesn't work with iPhone, which fact alone has made me an android girl forever. I'm free of the strange and random wilderness floating all around us. (I wonder how the internet really works- but now I can't Google it. I'll have to think of it as a delicate, elusive mystery.)

And so, I'm giving Self Control the coveted #3 Android app of 2014.

So there you have it. Fighter Verses, Quizlet, Self Control. The apps in Google Play that help you NOT to play.

That Feeling That You've Talked About This Before

Today I'm going to tell you what I think about Standardized Christian Living. Yes, I've talked about it before. Once or twice.

Maybe I should be over it, or past it, or Focused On Other Things By Now. But still- I'm going to tell you about it one more time. It's the last time, so listen up. (Just kidding. I'm happy you even read what I write, so I'm not going to tell you what to do.)

I really wish Christian people wouldn't shun things that are innocent and enjoyable and even noble and beautiful, just because they contain an Objectionable Element. The one thing that doesn't meet the requirements, but really wouldn't even cause them to sin. I know, the Bible says to keep ourselves unspotted from the world. But it doesn't say to keep ourselves walled away from it with mute buttons and book bannings and rebukings of the Unstandardized.

I've watched movies and read books that I know some people, even my nearest-and-dearest, would turn off or slam shut in two seconds because of the language. I'm not talking about foulness in every sentence, but something like God's name and maybe a few "hell's" or "damn's" by the time the credits roll, by the time I turn the last page. Yet something in the movie or book- the qualities of the hero or heroine, their self-sacrifice, the whole wonderful story-changed the way I think about things, changed me, touched me deeply and I wouldn't trade that for anything. "Nothing's a waste of time, it adds to the person that you are"- I believe that, and I want to grow as a person. I don't want to be shut up in some imaginary, sanitary world.

Keep it out, keep it out, keep it ALL out! And I'd be missing out. Not on fun times- I know that being friends with God and serving Him is more fun than anything else. I'm talking about missing out on culture, and character, and new ideas.

You have a lot to learn from everyone- not just from the lady in the church nursery. And maybe expanding your movie and book horizons will help you realize that there's a big, big world out there, filled with all kinds of people. Those people WILL curse around you, and there's nothing you can do about it. (I'm sorry, but I think it's rude to tell an adult "please don't say that around me" or "please turn that music off"- rude and off-putting and just plain WRONG.)

Maybe if you expand your standardized horizons, you'll realize that the people you will meet WILL drink, and some of them will be gay, and some of them will live with their boyfriends. But they will still have good traits and good ideas and good things to teach you. And if they're not saved, you have something even more important to tell THEM- the fact that Jesus saved you and changed your life, cleaned you up and gave you purpose, and is helping you get through each day. And that they need Him too. And they're not really going to want to listen to you after you pointed out the fact that you don't like what they're doing-NOT AT ALL- and you would never do it yourself- EVER.

The cursing issue gets me especially. I'm not trying to turn this into a pro-cursing post. That's not the intention. I don't curse, myself, because it's not refined, and it makes a person sound uneducated and sort of coarse, in my opinion (I'm not saying that you're uneducated and coarse if you curse, but that it makes you sound that way).

The Bible does talk about cursing, but I feel like it's taken out of context, and even "thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain" is misused. Because there's really no way to know that a person is taking God's name in vain. I think it's one of those things that you can only recognize when you do it yourself- you can't say that someone else is doing it, because you don't know their thoughts. People often say "Oh, God" when they are in trouble, and to me, that's a sort of short prayer. Also- do you say "God bless you" when someone sneezes? In that moment, are you wishing for God to bless that person? If not, didn't you just take God's name in vain?

Some "curse words" are honestly subjective. They're "curse words" because someone, somewhere, sometime decided that they were. Of course, I believe sexual-meaning words are clearly wrong, because they're obscene or corrupting talk which the Bible forbids.

Anyway, I think it's wrong to look at someone differently just because they say a word that you don't like. I think it's wrong to yell at a kid in a kid's ministry, who doesn't normally come to your church, when he does. (He's probably not a Christian. His parents/ uncles/ siblings/ cousins/ neighbors probably curse all the time. Do you know how off-putting it is for you to yell and lecture about it? And it's really not the important issue right now.)

I believe in listening, being kind and talking about things that really matter.

And I also wish you wouldn't rule out every (otherwise good) book and movie that has some against-your-standard element but doesn't Actually Cause You To Sin. You will be surrounded by these things FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

What about being in the world, yet not of it?

But where's the mute button where's the black marker turn it off eject it that's two curse words they kissed AAAAH tear out the page rip it up burn it up not in this house no no no never ever ever we have standards in this house we have standards! Amen.

Are You In The Ku Klux Klan?

I really love kids. But then, I don't understand people who dislike them. As cliché as this will be, they are just like sunshine on a cloudy day.

I'm trying to become a better writer, and now I feel awful about cramming this post with clichés. I've only written four sentences, and I already have one. If I get to the last sentence and I'm still weighed down with overwhelming guilt, I'll revise it.

Yesterday I drove the minivan that my parents gave me to bring some kids to my church's Bible club. I've done that for a few weeks, and I can finally find their houses without my Maps app! Yes, it took me that long. They were all waiting for me, as always, loud voices and big smiles.

It all went fairly smoothly. I only had four kids instead of a whole crowd, so I didn't have to go through the I-only-have-six-seats speech. I didn't have to talk to any parents or comfort the crying left behind. I had four of my regular kids, and they know they're supposed to buckle up right away. I told them if they didn't distract me, we would make it on time!

Then they started talking about Mike Brown and Darren Wilson (although they didn't know his name). Saying that all cops are racist and stupid.

Now, I feel a responsibility to these kids- sometimes, as though I might be the only voice in their lives Saying Otherwise. 

I couldn't just keep quiet.

I told them that it was a lie and that it was really hurtful to them to believe it. I told them that cops risk their lives to protect us, that they're not racist, that Michael Brown attacked Officer Wilson.

I didn't say everything I thought about it. I didn't tell them how horrible it was that people's homes and workplaces burned to the ground over the death of a thug. I didn't say that our president encouraged the violence while pretending to discourage it, that he is consistently fake and I really, really dislike fake people. That I have no respect for him no matter what Christian people say, when they say "Gotta respect the president!" because respect is earned and he is destroying my country and dividing it up by race just to get votes. Setting one group of Americans against another. That I despise Al Sharpton and I despise every single criminal who burned and looted over Michael Brown. That now, Darren Wilson, an innocent, honorable man, will fear for his life, for the rest of his life. For nothing. For stupidity.

I didn't say all that. This is what I said: "Michael Brown attacked the police officer. There was forensic evidence that he did."

This is what I got: yelling so that I couldn't say another word. Hands over ears. "That's what you think because you're white!" they shouted. "White cops don't like black folks, they want to shoot us!" The little one bounced up and down on the back seat. "I saw it on TV! I saw it on TV!"

I tried to tell them that we can't believe everything we see on TV. People are lying. "Do you know why they're lying?" I asked, then answered my own question while I could still get a word in edgewise. "They're lying because they want you to vote for them!"

Then the question from the boy in the front seat. "So, are you a member of the Ku Klux Klan?"

It's okay. I'm not mad at the boy. I told him to apologize because I wanted him to know how inappropriate it was to ask me that.

I'm mad at the politicians who convinced the adults in his life, and then him, to think that way. The sniveling idiots- I don't usually call names, but they ARE sniveling idiots- whose prize political strategy is the fabrication of racism. It's hurting my kids- I don't want any of them to be the next Michael Brown. So convinced that the police (and even all white people) are against them that they only want to fight. It's hurting my country. A girl I met the other day tried to compare the US to third world countries where riots happen daily. "I don't think we understand what that's like, and we make such a big deal over one riot," she said.

Guess what, girl I met the other day? It's where we're headed! Don't take such smug satisfaction in America having less violence than other countries! Can't you see that we are deteriorating? Sure, it's gradual, but that doesn't mean we won't become a third world country! Sure, we have been blessed, and I am grateful, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let that blessedness slip away, when there is something I can do about it!

I tried, in my own small way. And I think I communicated to four kids that the real racism in this situation is black people making assumptions about white policemen. Just because they're white.

And I want to pick up America, just cut it right out of a Rand McNally map, and shake it and say, "Stop promoting racism while you're pretending to decry it! Stop lying to my Bible club kids! Stop, just stop!"