I Am a New Creature

I discovered something, something important, on the banks of the Reedy River, Saturday. It was a day on which I felt like a total mess. It was all these old habits and timewasting and dwelling on what people might think about me, a freaking war in my mind. When some people come into my head, my thoughts go like this: leavemealoneleavemealoneleavemealone (literally) because in that moment, I don't ever want to hear from them or see them again.

So I went outside. Sunshine bringing out the vibrant greens and browns on the Swamp Rabbit Trail. It was like walking into a postcard.

I know by experience that it's not a good idea to go to the park on Saturday. When I go to the park, it's for solitude. And people invade that solitude, and I get irritated. And it becomes more and more likely that I'll demand to know why they're there, tromping all over my rocks and sloshing around in my water, when- if you want to get really technical about it- they have just as much right to be there as I do.

So I stopped halfway and I found a tiny waterfall, a little snag in the river. And there's something about flowing water that makes me want to stay. And I sat there for a long time and one runner asked me if I was okay and one runner just ran past me, and besides those two runners I didn't see anyone for over an hour.

An hour! And you were already depressed about time-wasting! Yes, but there's this- "time spent with God is never wasted." And there's something about talking out loud to God, and it's just more natural out in nature.

And here is what he said to me- not audibly- but I could not have come up with this myself after years of feeling like such a mess. "STOP characterizing yourself as the way you used to be." Yes, the things like "You never do what you're supposed to do, or stick with anything." "You're a failure." "You're a terrible example to the kids at your church." Or whathaveyou. Because- "You are a new creature."

I learned 2 Corinthians 5:17 a long time ago. But maybe I didn't really believe it.

Jeremiah 31:34. Hebrews 8:12. "I will remember their sins no more."

I have decided not to characterize myself in any forgotten way. And I will not dwell on the things people might think about me. It just doesn't matter any more. IamanewcreatureIamanewcreatureIamanewcreature.

There are many, many people who have been examples of Godliness to me. Why? Because they simply obeyed God. They served Him with their lives. They didn't let past failures drag them down. Sometimes I have thought that being honest and real is the most important thing. But most of these people didn't talk about the things they struggled with, or discuss all the difficulties of the Christian life. And they were real.

Of course, the Christian life is hard, but it's just wrong to focus on the struggle (especially the past struggle) instead of the NEWNESS. And if God has FORGOTTEN that I was *this* and did *this* and didn't do *this*, what right do I have to still characterize myself that way, or worse, to stay mired in it? How can I talk about it, or even think about it?

Yes, I called myself an inconsistent person last Tuesday. But this is a new Tuesday. I am a new creature. ;-)

Basically, this is what matters. Who is God, and does my life bring glory to Him? All forgotten things, and the opinions of others about my life- DON'T- they just don't.

Whatever YOUR characterizations are. "I'm such a slacker, I'll never get this project done." "I know I'll snap at *irritating coworker*." Think this instead. "I am a new creature. I am a new creature."

"For I will never leave you, nor forsake you."

Old People are Just the Same As You and I

If you're reading this, and you put yourself in the "old people" category, I apologize for my insulting title. In fact, I almost didn't use it. I've had this song in my head for a while though, and you know how it is with songs-in-your-head.

You know the one. "Short people are just the same as you and I, a fool such as I, all men are brothers until the day that they die, it's a wonderful world." That's the refrain. I'm including it in my post rather than the entire song because it is very much the most charitable part.

The entire song is actually hilarious, though, when it's about short people, but then there's really no such thing as heightism. At least, I've never met a heightist. There may be one, somewhere- a person who is truly prejudiced against everyone shorter than he is. But he is probably a closet heightist, who would never, under any circumstances, admit to being one.

Old age is different, so I want to talk about old age. It seems like most young people completely disregard and disrespect old people. I can vividly remember the reactions of my high school classmates when we visited a nursing home. They fidgeted and made faces at each other. They mentioned the weirdness and creepiness of the residents right in front of them. They searched for their hand sanitizers in their purses.

It can be uncomfortable in a nursing home, honestly, because you will usually meet some mentally ill people. But how did those people become mentally ill? Probably by living alone, in a cheerless place, watching TV mindlessly, and never seeing family! It's really, really sad.

Old people get discriminated against all the time, though: just because of the way they look. An old person's mind may be perfectly sound, and he may be the most interesting person you will meet all week; but you'll never know unless you talk to him. I think it's very similar to a 4-year-old who looks at an adult as a sort of god. Something like this might go through his head: my dad can do anything, except make a mistake; he knows everything, and can protect me from all harm. It's evidence-based- I saw my dad doing things I can't do. I asked him a question, and he knew the answer! He wasn't afraid in the thunderstorm. But it's still faulty reasoning. Now, please tell me you don't still think like a 4-year-old. A 19-year-old looks at an 80-year-old- just as far removed from his age as a 28-year-old dad is from a 4-year-old's age. He thinks, "I've talked to old people before. They drooled, they didn't know anything about my favorite activities, and they couldn't remember what they'd said five seconds ago." BUT THIS IS A DIFFERENT 80-YEAR-OLD THAN THE ONES YOU TALKED TO BEFORE. Please tell me you aren't still GENERALIZING AND STEREOTYPING EVERYTHING after an extra 15 years of life!

I happen to have met several 70-90 year olds who were funny and full of life. I've met writers online who were incredibly intelligent and relatable, and when I found out their age, I was shocked- although I shouldn't have been. For people are truly all the same- they are, they are. And wrinkles and hunched backs and walkers cannot change that.

I would like to know why it is even considered a negative or shameful thing to be old. If a person's age did not equal the number of years he's been alive, THAT would make him weird. The fact is, each person is exactly the age he or she is supposed to be, right now. That means that NOBODY should be ashamed of their age! You should be as happy and proud to turn 51 as you were to turn 5! You should tell everyone, blow up 51 balloons, and ask what your presents are going to be!

Why do we stop celebrating birthdays anyway? And why do women, especially, try to hide their age? Armed with makeup and hair dye and lies. I'm guilty (not of the lies, but at least of not wanting to tell my age) but I proclaim that I will not feel that way any longer! I am 27, and I am proud, yes, proud that my age matches the years I've been on this earth! I am happy that I am exactly the age I'm supposed to be, right at this moment. I do not want to be an age that I'm not supposed to be! I am proud that I am older than the people I am older than, I do not want to be a silly, boy-minded, eyebrow-plucking 20 year old! I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL I'M 30. Oh, 30 year olds, I am so jealous of you. WHAT AN HONOR. WHAT AN HONOR.

Unconditionally, As In Unconditionally?

But but but! That means consistency. Dedication. Faithfulness! A commitment to my avid readers that I'll be there for them every Tuesday, whether it's a wanting-to-skip-like-a-four-year-old Tuesday, or a feeling-like-my-bed-is-a-very-strong-magnet Tuesday!

Consistency is hard. I organized a Cleaning Club once. It was extremely official. My sisters and I transformed, overnight, into little Molly Maids. We wrote rules, we laid out penalties for rebellious behavior, we elected officers, we typed a newsletter with interviews and a joke column (actually on my dad's computer!)- we were so excited! One week later, good intentions settled like dust in the corners of the house, I don't think my mom was surprised.

I don't know how they do it, these consistent people- but I know, with certainty, where they'll be at 9:52 AM. With the same expressions on their faces, saying the same things.

Do they get their feelings hurt? Do they run a red light? Do they make mistakes? Do they get a cold? EVER? Sometimes I ask them for their autographs.

But for you, for you! I would do anything! So here I'll be, every Tuesday, writing things that you will want to read. Trust me. You will want to read them.

I will be here, every Tuesday, for the rest of my life. It probably won't be long. (Having never tried it- consistency may very well kill me.)